Friday, July 30, 2010

Deadliest Warrior, Season....3?

One of the things I've wanted to do for awhile is give a series of comprehensive reviews on the 22 episodes of Deadliest Warrior that have, to date, run on Spike TV in the show's two seasons. Deadliest Warrior is one of the coolest shows I've seen, and I highly recommend it. For those who don't know the premise, the producers pick two warriors from history and bring in expert on those warriors to test recreated weapons, armour, and tactics before using data gathered from the tests to run a simulated battle in a computer. It's pretty cool, not exactly the most accurate show sometimes, but it's fun. It's designed to let you argue.

I'm not down for beginning the long review process, but I imagine I'll get to it eventually. But since season 2 just finished, I'd like to put forward some ideas for season 3. Who knows! I've been known to tweet at the show's hosts from time to time, and they've all been kind enough to tweet back, so maybe somehow the producers will steal my ideas, and I can claim credit where none is likely due.

So, here's one of the matchups I have in mind:

Episode 1: Confederate Cavalry vs. Russian Cossack

Two of the finest horsemen of the 1800s; the cavalry of the CSA was led by guerrilla geniuses like Nathan Bedford Forrest and Jeb Stuart, while the Cossacks were the native horse warriors of Russia's wilderness, turned into an elite fighting force by the Tsars.

Confederate weapons:

The Sharps military carbine (long range), a .56 caliber rifle designed for mounted combat, used by both the Union and the Confederacy, that could be fired with deadly accuracy while moving at high speed.

The Colt M1861 Navy (medium range), a .36 caliber pistol captured in great amounts by the Confederacy and the preferred weapon of her horsemen, who preferred six shots to just one.

The saber (short range), a one-edged razor-sharp curved sword used up close to hack at enemy limbs and cut at their horses.

The double-barreled shotgun (special weapon), two shots of devastating pellets designed to hack a rider and his mount to grisly bits.

Cossack weapons:

The M1870 Berdan II Cossack Rifle (long range), a rifle designed specifically to give the advantage to the quick-striking Cossack horseman.

The Smith and Wesson Model 3 "Russian Revolver" (medium range), the standard but deadly sidearm for the Russian Army near the end of the 19th century.

The Shashka (short range), a traditional Cossack blade used since the 1200s, designed specifically to let a mounted man cleave flesh from bone.

The Khanjali dagger (special weapon), a knife that can be used both to defend from an enemy's sword attack, or plunge lighting-fast death into their heart.

While the shotgun vs. the khanjali might seem a little unfair, the Cossack rifle and the S&W are superior to the cap & ball Colt and the breech-loading Sharps. The khanjali would also help give a Cossack a deadly edge in a sword on sword battle. I think this would be a fascinating fight, and while I'd give my early edge to the Cossack, the Confederates could easily pull this one out at the end.

What do you think?

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